Did you know that it is possible to shift your state?
It is possible to learn the skill of recognizing you are in a state of upset and shifting into a state of connectedness, of productivity, of moving forward?
These are the Top Ten officially proven to work ways of quieting yourself when you are upset. Official because I am officially writing them here. Proven, because they have worked for me and others I have known. :)
Here they are
State intention
Jumping jacks
Take a nap
Write Dow your thoughts
Ask for help
Breathing exercises
Epsom salt bath
Connect spiritually - pray
Get into nature
Do one small action
These top ten ways to quiet after being upset from a common episode during the day or due to a traumatic experience are particular to me and the people I know. I invite you into the freedom of doing a scientific experiment to see what works for you.
We all have unique histories and experiences. Some of us have obvious traumas; car accidents, abuse, being abandoned, divorce, etc. And, others of us have less obvious traumas; not being seen for who you are, growing up without encouragement, lack of community, etc. Whatever your case may be, test some of these, or all 10, and see what works for you.
State Intention
Ask yourself what do you hope to do in this present moment?
Do you intend to quiet your body and mind so that you can get greater clarity?
Do you intend to move your body so you can shift the state of your mind?
Do you intend to connect with someone so that you can experience a place of stillness within?
Move towards clarity about your intention.
Write your intention down.
State it out loud to yourself.
“I intend to quiet my body so that I can remember who I am and what I value.”
Jumping jacks
This might have caught you by surprise. Before you skip over this idea or merely laugh at it, test it out. But, first, check yourself and see how upset you are on a scale of 1-10. Get that number.
Do 77 jumping jacks. That is the magic number.
Well, there is no “magic” number, it’s just the number of jumping jacks that I do to shift my state.
It doesn’t need to be jumping jacks, but what I like about this the simplicity and accessibility jumping jacks provide. It can be walking around the block. This is my go-to one as well. It can be 23 push-ups. Whatever it is this one involves moving your body so that you can re-center and find that still place within.
Take a nap
Taking a nap is a revolutionary act against the grind society can often trap us in. The woman or man who can take a nap is positively in control of their body and actions. This actually may be one of the more challenging ones.
Nap Ministry - Rest as Resistance
Restore alertness
Enhance performance
Rejuvenate your sense of well-being
Research points to the benefits of a power nap or a shorter nap that is less than 30 mins during the day. The next length of nap that is beneficial is 90 mins. Even if you can’t fall asleep laying down to quiet your body has the potential to shift your state of being.
Try experimenting with simply laying down for 10-20 mins for a time of resting your body. Make sure you set an alarm so that you aren’t anxious about not waking up in time.
Write Down your thoughts
Taking time to jot down your thoughts in any format is helpful to organize the flurry of thoughts you may be experiencing. Or, the monotony of rigidly being stuck on one thought.
Again, you could start with your intention.
“I intend to write down my thoughts so that I can return to being relational and productive.”
You can use
bullet points to
capture your thoughts
Or scribble them on a napkin [image]
The main idea is to take time to write down your thoughts. Often, this can be an important first step in organizing and integrating the left and right parts of your brain.
Ask for help
Asking for help is essential to being fully human. Often, due to trauma and painful experiences we were taught not to ask for help or share our needs. No wonder it is challenging and takes courage to ask for help.
Asking for help can be as simple as calling or texting a friend.
Pause, at this moment, think of 1 or 2 people you can text and just say hi. You don’t even have to say why you are reaching out. And, if you feel comfortable, let them know you just needed a little encouragement because you were having a tough day or moment.
Asking for help can include calling a therapist or contacting them via their contact form. With the contact form, you don’t even need to talk to them.
Asking for help can be challenging and it can prove fruitful and productive.
Breathing exercises
Breathing is essential and core to life. It is also the place where the autonomic nervous system meets the consciously chosen path. We are given so much freedom to choose how we engage our breath.
The simple act of being present to your breath can begin to shift your physiological state of being.
The two breathing exercises that I will share here are box breathing and 4-7-8 breath technique.
BOX BREATHING
The name comes from breathing in equal amounts of time (counts) that can be viewed as a box.
The counts are not seconds, but howe er long you feel comfortable with.
Breathing in 4
Hold for 4
Exhale for 4
Hold for 4
Repeat for 1-2 minutes and you will see a difference.
Here are some box breathing apps.
4-7-8 BREATHING TECHNIQUE
Funny video intro this process.
I have shared this with many clients and they have found it helpful. Often we practice this technique in our sessions. It helps to have someone with you when you practice new skills.
This helps shift from a sympathetic nervous system engagement to the parasympathetic nervous system. Both are vital to our well being. The sympathetic nervous system gets us going and moving. And, when it is reed up too much we need to quiet it down by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system. We do this by having a longer exhale.
The process is quite simple.
Breath In for 4 count
Hold for 7 count
Exhale for 8 count
Do this 4 times and see what you notice within your nervous system.
Again, try it out a few times. Sometimes I do this after I do my 77 jumping jacks. It can be beneficial to link a few simple practices together. Here is an online app to help you get started.
Epsom salt bath
Do you know the benefits of Epsom salt baths? For a few bucks, you can experience deeper relaxation with 1-2 pounds of Epsom salts. You can pick them up at your local CVS or Costco has a great deal on them.
Magnesium helps our bodies relax and quiet down. The magnesium is wonderfully absorbed through the skin in the bath.
Benefits of Epsom salt bath
Bone & Joint pain relief
Reduces stress
Helps detoxification
Dr. Axe shares 10 benefits of Epsom salt bath
Connect spiritually [pray]
Whatever your spiritual orientation getting in touch with your deepest source of life can help you remember who you are and why you are here.
If it’s God, source of life or, for you, Universe, call out for help.
Help is probably the most frequent form of prayer.
Other forms of connecting spiritually can be singing, meditating on an ancient text of scripture and gathering with others.
Find something that helps you connect to your core values as a human being.
Get into nature
Wherever you live you will have some access to nature and that can be as simple as stepping outside.
It can include
Going to a nature preserve
Hiking in the mountains
Going to a lake or ocean
Visiting a garden or park nearby
One that you thought of that I didn’t write here
The shift in location can help create a shift in your state of being. Try it out.
Forest Bathing is something that has been written about here as a beneficial way of recalibrating.
Grounding can be one small step you can take to help bring some additional stability to your being. Check out the trailer for a documentary called Grounded.
Do one small action
Do.
One.
Thing.
The smaller the better. Try it out. Taking one small step. Take any of the 9 ideas above and give it a shot.
Or, buy a postcard and send it to a friend. Or, download this app Postagram. You can send a postcard for $2 from your phone.
Sit still for 3 mins. It’s free.
Put your hands on your chest and say, “I love you.”
Text someone you love these simple words without explanation.
“I love you”
Remember, the smaller the better.
Try something, anything.
Serving La Canada, La Crescenta, Glendale, Pasadena, Alta Dena and surrounding areas.